Real Estate Finds!

"Let's eat popcorn in our the hot tub surrounded by our favorite houseplants and Marilyn Monroe art."

Louis' new window bed!

My Cat thinks he just got a window bed upgrade. We recently had our upstairs painted, so our furniture had been in the basement about a week, and then brought up quickly so things are a little out of sorts. 

In this particular room, the other window has a cat window bed on the opposite wall, however when my cat saw this mattress he had other thoughts. Louis feels like a king on this window bed, it's bigger and it's taller. The view may be a little cut off, but it's all worth it to have the worlds largest cat window bed.

"I'm Beautiful!!!!"

Crystal Images!

 

Another great gift idea, put your image forever in crystal, the world's most beautiful paper weight.

Bro Get's a Haircut!

When your Cyber Stalker Apologizes

It's a very scary day when someone who has been cyber stalking you for nearly a year confronts you about it and tries to make amends. 

"Hi, I found out you were mad that I was reading about your life secretly everyday, I'm so sorry if this made you mad. I promise I'll make it up to you. Oh and I was wonder do you sleep in the fetal position?"

Take Note: You can't undo Cyber Stalking. If you're trying to, it's gotten worse than anyone can comprehend.

Jaan Pehechaan Ho

The Evolution of Foot Fondalee Anonymous

One slumberous night, my little sister, Rachael, me and a couple other people I can't remember got out the video camera to make some short movies. This was the idea that was pitched, a girl attends a big sleepover only to have her feet fondled in the middle of the night, when morning comes she is scared and unsure who the fondler was. 

Immediately I told Rachael that she would be the feet fondler, but she refused. I argued and tried to convince her, that's when she said "No, I'd rather be the fondalee". We argued about which was worse and it ended up being the argument of the night. It was hysterical. Sadly though, our dispute was the reason the short film was never given a chance. Oh, to go back in time. 

Nightmare Easter Bunny

 

My nephew Evan, trying to get away. This was the city's Easter egg hunt. They must have really wanted the little kids to remember this day.

Voices

Mr.& Mrs. Morning Dove

Sharing nest responsibilities sometimes gets overwhelming. That's why Don will sometimes tell his wife Betty that he's going out for more nesting materials,  when he really just plans on sitting on the roof for hours.

A Wrong Call

Yesterday I woke up at the crack of dawn walked the dog, ran errands for 4 hours,  and then ran into my sister and her son at the grocery store. My nephew begged to come home with me, so my husband and I ran the rest of my errands and then came home and had to entertain a hyper 7 year old with ping pong, ball guns, video games, and non-sugary snacks and Mac photo booth. By the time his mother came and picked him up (an hour late mind you) I felt exhausted and brain dead. That's when I got a call.

My husband rushed towards me with a ringing cell. He urgently shouted "It's your grandma!" He flipped it open, "Hello? I asked" From the other end a high pitched voice responded "Hello Joanie?" I was confused and then suddenly relieved, I thought to myself, if she called the wrong number this will be short. I should have known better and I should have realized, this was no "wrong call".

Without a moments pause, my Grandma said "this isn't Joanie, this is Jayne isn't it?" I rolled my eyes "Yes, Grandma, it's Jayne. She cackled "Oh dear, that's strange your name is nowhere near Joannie's". I politely responded "that's okay Grandma, you just call your friend." I regretted the word friend immediately. My Grandma stuttered "Well, well yah know Joannie's actually my cousin, and I'm over at Tilly's and we're expecting her over..... 20 minutes later and two mentionings of how this whole call was an accident.

Finally I tried wrapping things up "alright Grandma". "Oh Your uncle Rob He only calls me when my bills come in. I have so many bills. Do you remember Frank and Margerie? They're dead now but...  Oh and the other day I went in my wallet and you know what I found? The ten commandments you wrote when you were ten?" She cackled "maybe that's why I called you, yeah, maybe that's why I dialed your number."    

Happy Birthday - Michael Scott Style

Trailer Park Memories

My Older sister Desirie practicing her modeling poses at the mobile home park my Grandma lived at in the early 90's. Grandma sure knows how to capture those wholesome moments.

My Older Sister's Idol

In 2006 my cousin and I visited my older sister and watched the Oscar's together. As we watched Dolly Parton perform a song that was nominated, her face got very emotional.

We stared at the screen. It was hard to get past the blindingly blonde hair, heavy makeup, collagen filled lips and super high facelift.  She danced around the stage in a skin tight white suit which emphasized scarily thin arms, legs and a 10 inch waist. Maybe most shocking of all were her disproportionately large breasts that made you think she would topple over at any moment from the weight of them. At that moment my sister spoke in a most serious tone of voice and said, "Dolly Parton has always been my idol".

My cousin and I just stared at each other with our eyes bugged out.

Birds the Word

A Gift for a Friend

This Birdhouse would make the perfect any occasion gift!

Netflix Instant Watch

This looks like a great movie!

Netflix Instant watch, I can't believe it.

Snuggie Ashley

A while back Corey spotted a Child Snuggie box at Rite-Aid... we had no idea Ashley was a snuggie model in her childhood!